Thursday, January 08, 2004
Morons and poker don't mix
So, last night I was watching the Celebrity Poker Challenge on Bravo. I'm not a huge poker fan, but I am a gambling fan, and I'm also reasonably entertained by watching celebrities do real-life things. Furthermore, the some of the celebrities participating in this event are ones I actually respect - Don Cheadle and David Cross, to name two. Some reasonably big names participated as well - Martin Sheen and Ben Affleck, for instance. Of course, there were also some washed up people - Tom Green comes to mind.
There have been about 4 or 5 episodes so far, and I've actually been surprised at the level of play. Most of the players have been pretty decent. A couple have played full-tilt - betting very aggressively, and over their head, somewhat befitting the arrogance one would expect out of a star. (Coolio's play is one of the best examples of this, but he's also probably one of the lower-wattage stars that participated.) Also, some clearly just got roped into playing because of their stardom, and agreed to do it because some of the proceeds went to charity. Martin Sheen really had no idea what he was doing, but at least he admitted as such. Perhaps I shouldn't be surprised - many of these stars are pretty cognizant of their public image, and likely wouldn't agree to play poker on TV if it was likely to embarrass them.
Which brings me to Scott Stapp. There's a decent chance you haven't heard of Scott Stapp, and if that's the case, then consider yourself lucky. He's the lead singer of Creed, one of the most insipid and annoying bands in recent history. I'm sure you've heard their stuff. For a while (maybe 2-3 years ago), they were the hottest thing going - kind of this very lame Christian pseudo-hard rock, pseudo-alternative, pseudo-grunge, whiny type of music that seems to be very standard nowadays. But they really took it to a different level - very self-important, and pretty darn talentless. And of course, the frontman, Scott Stapp, was the embodiment of this music, or at least seemed so in the music videos - posturing for the cameras, holding his arms out to the sky, wrenching up his face, while half-howling, half-groaning about his "Arms wide open". Anyways, that's enough about their music. Suffice it to say that I detest them - I'd say they probably were on the top three list of bands that I hate.
So, I wasn't too excited to see him on the show, and was pretty worried for a bit that he might do well. This brings me to an interesting segue - why should I care about if Scott Stapp is good at poker or not? As arbitrary as my opinion may seem, I feel that people with talent should be rewarded. And I think he has none, and the fact that he is a millionaire rock star is already injust. I'd much rather see a person whose talents I respect win something. Fortunately, Scott didn't let me down.
His play was "blustery", for lack of a better word, as is his music. He THOUGHT he knew what he was doing, confidently throwing down his chips and betting into hand after hand. In his little "interview", he was upset that David Cross had told him he was out of his element (Cross is actually kind of an ass, but he's a talented ass.) and that had upset him, so he was going to show him. He hung around for the first few rounds, getting lucky on a couple of hands. Since he was betting all the time, when he had good cards, it turned out to be a good move.
Soon, it became apparent that he would be on everything half-decent. Furthermore, if he went into a hand, he would NEVER fold. It didn't matter what others bet, it didn't matter how many other people were playing, it didn't matter if the cards that were turned up (they were playing Texas Hold'em, so there were 5 common cards, and 2 in their hand, for those of you that don't know the game) benefitted him or not - like a stubborn baby, he stayed in.
Ok, so maybe he was just a stubborn guy - plenty of people are stubborn. No, not only was he stubborn, he was stupid. He didn't know the rules of the game! If you don't know the rules of the game, don't bet as much! Furthermore, he would get all indignant when he lost, because he didn't know which hands beat which hands. In a stunning example of stupidity, the common cards (maybe you should click on the link above if you don't know how to play) revealed a pair. He had nothing in his hand - so his final hand was this pair that was in the common cards. Of course, everyone had that pair - they're common! So when the cards were turned up, he was trying to figure out if he had won. Someone else had two pair - one from the common cards and one from their hand. There's actually a dealer there, who tells you what the result of the hand is, but he was charging ahead, trying to figure it out. As the other players flipped their cards and tried to explain why he had lost, he proudly stated, "I have a pair". Well, Scott, EVERYONE has a pair - they're common cards! When someone else pointed out that they had two pair, he just shouted with exasperation, and then, when he realized what he was supposed to do, congratulated the winner on their luck. I would think that the friends of this guy would tell him that he likely doesn't want to expose his poor poker player skills and extreme obtuseness on national television, but maybe he's surrounded by sycophants, or maybe his poker-playing buddies wanted to talk him up so he'd keep playing and they could keep winning money. I can't imagine that many Creed fans were turned off, either - I bet most of them think he got robbed by that bastard David Cross.
Am I surprised that he's actually an idiot? No, I'm not. Stapp went out second, and Cross won that round. Somehow, my extreme dislike of Creed was even more justified. Of course, like I said, David Cross also proved himself to be somewhat unlikeable - kind of an aloof, arrogant clown. Do I like his comedy less? No, not really. Would I appreciate Creed more if it turned out that Scott Stapp was smarter than a bag of pencil shavings? I really doubt it.
I don't know why I care what these people are like in "real life" - inasmuch as a television show can show you real life - but I do to some extent. In general, I'd like to think that these people are given talent and therefore are able to become rich because they deserve it, due to the quality of their character and their intelligence and creativity. Unfortunately, often, as we all know, that's not the case. Sometimes it is, and we all feel good about it - Tom Hanks, for instance, really does seem to be a decent guy. And, hey, he's a great actor! Edward Norton - also a great actor. Is he a nice guy? Well, it seems a lot of people find him self-centered and difficult to work with. That's too bad. But I'll still go see his movies. And I probably won't feel too guilty about it. But if YOU like Creed, for shame. For Shame!
There have been about 4 or 5 episodes so far, and I've actually been surprised at the level of play. Most of the players have been pretty decent. A couple have played full-tilt - betting very aggressively, and over their head, somewhat befitting the arrogance one would expect out of a star. (Coolio's play is one of the best examples of this, but he's also probably one of the lower-wattage stars that participated.) Also, some clearly just got roped into playing because of their stardom, and agreed to do it because some of the proceeds went to charity. Martin Sheen really had no idea what he was doing, but at least he admitted as such. Perhaps I shouldn't be surprised - many of these stars are pretty cognizant of their public image, and likely wouldn't agree to play poker on TV if it was likely to embarrass them.
Which brings me to Scott Stapp. There's a decent chance you haven't heard of Scott Stapp, and if that's the case, then consider yourself lucky. He's the lead singer of Creed, one of the most insipid and annoying bands in recent history. I'm sure you've heard their stuff. For a while (maybe 2-3 years ago), they were the hottest thing going - kind of this very lame Christian pseudo-hard rock, pseudo-alternative, pseudo-grunge, whiny type of music that seems to be very standard nowadays. But they really took it to a different level - very self-important, and pretty darn talentless. And of course, the frontman, Scott Stapp, was the embodiment of this music, or at least seemed so in the music videos - posturing for the cameras, holding his arms out to the sky, wrenching up his face, while half-howling, half-groaning about his "Arms wide open". Anyways, that's enough about their music. Suffice it to say that I detest them - I'd say they probably were on the top three list of bands that I hate.
So, I wasn't too excited to see him on the show, and was pretty worried for a bit that he might do well. This brings me to an interesting segue - why should I care about if Scott Stapp is good at poker or not? As arbitrary as my opinion may seem, I feel that people with talent should be rewarded. And I think he has none, and the fact that he is a millionaire rock star is already injust. I'd much rather see a person whose talents I respect win something. Fortunately, Scott didn't let me down.
His play was "blustery", for lack of a better word, as is his music. He THOUGHT he knew what he was doing, confidently throwing down his chips and betting into hand after hand. In his little "interview", he was upset that David Cross had told him he was out of his element (Cross is actually kind of an ass, but he's a talented ass.) and that had upset him, so he was going to show him. He hung around for the first few rounds, getting lucky on a couple of hands. Since he was betting all the time, when he had good cards, it turned out to be a good move.
Soon, it became apparent that he would be on everything half-decent. Furthermore, if he went into a hand, he would NEVER fold. It didn't matter what others bet, it didn't matter how many other people were playing, it didn't matter if the cards that were turned up (they were playing Texas Hold'em, so there were 5 common cards, and 2 in their hand, for those of you that don't know the game) benefitted him or not - like a stubborn baby, he stayed in.
Ok, so maybe he was just a stubborn guy - plenty of people are stubborn. No, not only was he stubborn, he was stupid. He didn't know the rules of the game! If you don't know the rules of the game, don't bet as much! Furthermore, he would get all indignant when he lost, because he didn't know which hands beat which hands. In a stunning example of stupidity, the common cards (maybe you should click on the link above if you don't know how to play) revealed a pair. He had nothing in his hand - so his final hand was this pair that was in the common cards. Of course, everyone had that pair - they're common! So when the cards were turned up, he was trying to figure out if he had won. Someone else had two pair - one from the common cards and one from their hand. There's actually a dealer there, who tells you what the result of the hand is, but he was charging ahead, trying to figure it out. As the other players flipped their cards and tried to explain why he had lost, he proudly stated, "I have a pair". Well, Scott, EVERYONE has a pair - they're common cards! When someone else pointed out that they had two pair, he just shouted with exasperation, and then, when he realized what he was supposed to do, congratulated the winner on their luck. I would think that the friends of this guy would tell him that he likely doesn't want to expose his poor poker player skills and extreme obtuseness on national television, but maybe he's surrounded by sycophants, or maybe his poker-playing buddies wanted to talk him up so he'd keep playing and they could keep winning money. I can't imagine that many Creed fans were turned off, either - I bet most of them think he got robbed by that bastard David Cross.
Am I surprised that he's actually an idiot? No, I'm not. Stapp went out second, and Cross won that round. Somehow, my extreme dislike of Creed was even more justified. Of course, like I said, David Cross also proved himself to be somewhat unlikeable - kind of an aloof, arrogant clown. Do I like his comedy less? No, not really. Would I appreciate Creed more if it turned out that Scott Stapp was smarter than a bag of pencil shavings? I really doubt it.
I don't know why I care what these people are like in "real life" - inasmuch as a television show can show you real life - but I do to some extent. In general, I'd like to think that these people are given talent and therefore are able to become rich because they deserve it, due to the quality of their character and their intelligence and creativity. Unfortunately, often, as we all know, that's not the case. Sometimes it is, and we all feel good about it - Tom Hanks, for instance, really does seem to be a decent guy. And, hey, he's a great actor! Edward Norton - also a great actor. Is he a nice guy? Well, it seems a lot of people find him self-centered and difficult to work with. That's too bad. But I'll still go see his movies. And I probably won't feel too guilty about it. But if YOU like Creed, for shame. For Shame!
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