Saturday, January 17, 2004
Sex, kind of
I couldn't think of a topic to write about, so I asked my girlfriend, Sam(antha) for a topic. She suggested "sex". I guess I can't complain about that, eh?
But what to write about sex? Writing about my own personal experiences seems a tad inappropriate, so I won't do that. I guess I can write about the general American impression of sex. I'll stop writing about writing and just start writing:
As you know, I hate to sound like everyone else, but we really are rather uptight about sex in this country. But when I say "we", I don't mean each individual person, because on a personal level, I see people talking about sex all the time. In fact, at a local level, I think we're relatively liberated...at least until the topic of homosexuality comes up. Then, most people revert back to the Stone Age. But we're not talking about that, for now.
No, what I'm talking about is the general public impression of sex. It's not even the act of sex, or, rather showing sexual images - the rules on that seem to be loosening all the time. Rather, I'm talking about what can and cannot be said in a public forum. I guess, rather, I should widen this discussion just to include "inappropriate language", because, really, when we use that term, we really mean "sexual language". "Fuck" wouldn't be a bad word if it wasn't sexual, would it? In fact, I believe the FCC recently said that they won't investigate matters in which the word "fuck" was broadcast if it wasn't used in a sexual manner. "Bitch", and even "shit" are now ok to use on TV. And, I hate to bring this discussion back to media, because it seems like a lot of my discussions go that way, but that is the best example of American standards of decency, is it not?
Frankly, it makes very little sense to me. They're just words. Why do we ascribe "fuck" so much power, ESPECIALLY when we know that probably almost everyone watching TV uses those words? Certainly, almost everyone watching TV has either had sex, or intends to. "What about the kids?", you might ask. Well, honestly, maybe if we were a little more open about talking about sex and sexual language around them, we might generally have a more well-adjusted, sexually comfortable population.
But, I guess some people think that's a bad thing. Sex is private, right? It's inappropriate to talk about it, especially not graphically. And, I'm not advocating people talking in detail about their sex lives. Rather, I would like to see people accept sex as a natural part of life. People want sex. They like it. That's never going to change. They're going to use certain words to describe it, and, really, none of them should offend you - once again, they're just words, and if the concepts behind them don't offend you, then the words themselves shouldn't, either.
I love hearing expletives on television. I like when the boundaries are being pushed. I also like knowing that somewhere, some kid is likely hearing that word for the first time, and may be asking his parents what that means. I only hope they're giving him a real explanation, instead of saying, "It's a bad word, and you should never say it."
Personally, I have a dilemma. Let's say I have kids. Now, I know a very good reason not to teach young kids about sex is because they can only grasp the concept after a certain age. Great. But that's no reason to keep it hidden. They can't grasp the concept of the "Infield Fly Rule", either, but I'll bet that very few parents turn their television off when a baseball game is on and the "Infield Fly Rule" comes into effect. I imagine that if you shut the TV off or cover your kids' ears every time something "inappropriate" is mentioned, it makes them more curious. If you treat it like everything else that's said, it won't be a big deal. And, really, it shouldn't be.
But therein lies the problem. If I want my kids to have what I deem is a healthy attitude about sex and so-called vulgar words, then they're going to encounter these words before they're ready. And, they just might use them in front of someone not-so-well-adjusted, and then get in trouble. Then, I get called into the principal's office and have to explain to him that Dave Jr's perfectly allowed to say "cocksucker", thank you very much, and if little Billy's mother has a problem with it, well, then, she should come and talk to me directly. She's probably a "cocksucker" too. I'm willing to bet on it.
Ok, that was inappropriate. Or, was it? Personally, I found it funny. I bet you chortled. And that's another point - curse words are funny! They just are. Maybe I need to grow up, but if I'm complaining about someone, I can either call him a "jerk", or I can call him a "pig fucker", well, I'm going to go with the latter. Gets the same point across, but I'm more likely to entertain my audience with the latter.
Maybe I lost you somewhere along the way. And that's fine. This was quite rambling, but I hope I've made my point. Disagree? Then write in the comments section. And go fuck yourself. Or go "make love" to yourself. Does that make you feel better?
But what to write about sex? Writing about my own personal experiences seems a tad inappropriate, so I won't do that. I guess I can write about the general American impression of sex. I'll stop writing about writing and just start writing:
As you know, I hate to sound like everyone else, but we really are rather uptight about sex in this country. But when I say "we", I don't mean each individual person, because on a personal level, I see people talking about sex all the time. In fact, at a local level, I think we're relatively liberated...at least until the topic of homosexuality comes up. Then, most people revert back to the Stone Age. But we're not talking about that, for now.
No, what I'm talking about is the general public impression of sex. It's not even the act of sex, or, rather showing sexual images - the rules on that seem to be loosening all the time. Rather, I'm talking about what can and cannot be said in a public forum. I guess, rather, I should widen this discussion just to include "inappropriate language", because, really, when we use that term, we really mean "sexual language". "Fuck" wouldn't be a bad word if it wasn't sexual, would it? In fact, I believe the FCC recently said that they won't investigate matters in which the word "fuck" was broadcast if it wasn't used in a sexual manner. "Bitch", and even "shit" are now ok to use on TV. And, I hate to bring this discussion back to media, because it seems like a lot of my discussions go that way, but that is the best example of American standards of decency, is it not?
Frankly, it makes very little sense to me. They're just words. Why do we ascribe "fuck" so much power, ESPECIALLY when we know that probably almost everyone watching TV uses those words? Certainly, almost everyone watching TV has either had sex, or intends to. "What about the kids?", you might ask. Well, honestly, maybe if we were a little more open about talking about sex and sexual language around them, we might generally have a more well-adjusted, sexually comfortable population.
But, I guess some people think that's a bad thing. Sex is private, right? It's inappropriate to talk about it, especially not graphically. And, I'm not advocating people talking in detail about their sex lives. Rather, I would like to see people accept sex as a natural part of life. People want sex. They like it. That's never going to change. They're going to use certain words to describe it, and, really, none of them should offend you - once again, they're just words, and if the concepts behind them don't offend you, then the words themselves shouldn't, either.
I love hearing expletives on television. I like when the boundaries are being pushed. I also like knowing that somewhere, some kid is likely hearing that word for the first time, and may be asking his parents what that means. I only hope they're giving him a real explanation, instead of saying, "It's a bad word, and you should never say it."
Personally, I have a dilemma. Let's say I have kids. Now, I know a very good reason not to teach young kids about sex is because they can only grasp the concept after a certain age. Great. But that's no reason to keep it hidden. They can't grasp the concept of the "Infield Fly Rule", either, but I'll bet that very few parents turn their television off when a baseball game is on and the "Infield Fly Rule" comes into effect. I imagine that if you shut the TV off or cover your kids' ears every time something "inappropriate" is mentioned, it makes them more curious. If you treat it like everything else that's said, it won't be a big deal. And, really, it shouldn't be.
But therein lies the problem. If I want my kids to have what I deem is a healthy attitude about sex and so-called vulgar words, then they're going to encounter these words before they're ready. And, they just might use them in front of someone not-so-well-adjusted, and then get in trouble. Then, I get called into the principal's office and have to explain to him that Dave Jr's perfectly allowed to say "cocksucker", thank you very much, and if little Billy's mother has a problem with it, well, then, she should come and talk to me directly. She's probably a "cocksucker" too. I'm willing to bet on it.
Ok, that was inappropriate. Or, was it? Personally, I found it funny. I bet you chortled. And that's another point - curse words are funny! They just are. Maybe I need to grow up, but if I'm complaining about someone, I can either call him a "jerk", or I can call him a "pig fucker", well, I'm going to go with the latter. Gets the same point across, but I'm more likely to entertain my audience with the latter.
Maybe I lost you somewhere along the way. And that's fine. This was quite rambling, but I hope I've made my point. Disagree? Then write in the comments section. And go fuck yourself. Or go "make love" to yourself. Does that make you feel better?
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