Thursday, March 25, 2004
Help me!
This is my third post about TiVo, which, admittedly, may be getting a little extreme, at least for those of you non-believers. I feel like I'm proselytizing some crazy religion, but, Lord TiVo demands sacrifices!
Alas, I fear I may have given Almighty TiVo too many powers. It was enough when He started taking control of my phone line periodically to communicate with the TiVo mothership - usually, at least, it was in the wee hours of the night, so it wasn't an interruption. I'll admit it's a little creepy when I'm watching something through the TiVo (in all of His sneakiness, He can try to act like a normal TV tuner so you won't even know it's there...initially) (Given that I haven't purchased the networking package for TiVo yet, I'm pretty safe in talking about Him online - at least, I hope He can't read this), and He claims He needs to change channels. And, it's also a little strange when He records shows presuming I'll like them, especially when they're shows like "Dexter's Laboratory".
But, all of the aforementioned oddness was a minor inconvenience, certainly paling in comparison to the awesome powers TiVo had bestowed upon my household. No relationship is without its little foibles, even one with an omnipotent entity like TiVo. However, it seems that TiVo's original hard drive size of 35 MB was actually an intentional limitation, put there to prevent the TiVo from taking over the universe. In upgrading Him, I have unknowingly unleashed the full powers of TiVo on the universe. I fear for humanity. May TiVo forgive me.
Let me explain. Whereas TiVo used to have about 20 shows for me to watch, and record another couple if He had space, now He is recording ALL THE TIME. He never sleeps. I have about 100 shows recorded now. I pretty much quadrupled the size, but I think He is now growing in strength. Furthermore, He has so much of an appetite that He will record all sorts of shows, presuming that I will like them. I have 6 X-Files, 2 NYPD Blues (a show I've never watched in my life), Beat Charlie Moore (what the hell is that?), Kim Possible (I believe this is a kids cartoon), and all sorts of other random shows. I never watch them, not because I won't like them, but because I fear I might - it's all part of TiVo's plan to take over my mind by controlling what I watch. I must fight it. I'll also mention that none of my old shows are never deleted. That's right - He never forgets. He's a gigantic, pulsing, recording brain, growing in strength and appetite. He never rests. He is always hungry. He cannot be reasoned with. I am powerless to hight Him. It may be too late for me - but not for you. Save yourselves!
Alas, I fear I may have given Almighty TiVo too many powers. It was enough when He started taking control of my phone line periodically to communicate with the TiVo mothership - usually, at least, it was in the wee hours of the night, so it wasn't an interruption. I'll admit it's a little creepy when I'm watching something through the TiVo (in all of His sneakiness, He can try to act like a normal TV tuner so you won't even know it's there...initially) (Given that I haven't purchased the networking package for TiVo yet, I'm pretty safe in talking about Him online - at least, I hope He can't read this), and He claims He needs to change channels. And, it's also a little strange when He records shows presuming I'll like them, especially when they're shows like "Dexter's Laboratory".
But, all of the aforementioned oddness was a minor inconvenience, certainly paling in comparison to the awesome powers TiVo had bestowed upon my household. No relationship is without its little foibles, even one with an omnipotent entity like TiVo. However, it seems that TiVo's original hard drive size of 35 MB was actually an intentional limitation, put there to prevent the TiVo from taking over the universe. In upgrading Him, I have unknowingly unleashed the full powers of TiVo on the universe. I fear for humanity. May TiVo forgive me.
Let me explain. Whereas TiVo used to have about 20 shows for me to watch, and record another couple if He had space, now He is recording ALL THE TIME. He never sleeps. I have about 100 shows recorded now. I pretty much quadrupled the size, but I think He is now growing in strength. Furthermore, He has so much of an appetite that He will record all sorts of shows, presuming that I will like them. I have 6 X-Files, 2 NYPD Blues (a show I've never watched in my life), Beat Charlie Moore (what the hell is that?), Kim Possible (I believe this is a kids cartoon), and all sorts of other random shows. I never watch them, not because I won't like them, but because I fear I might - it's all part of TiVo's plan to take over my mind by controlling what I watch. I must fight it. I'll also mention that none of my old shows are never deleted. That's right - He never forgets. He's a gigantic, pulsing, recording brain, growing in strength and appetite. He never rests. He is always hungry. He cannot be reasoned with. I am powerless to hight Him. It may be too late for me - but not for you. Save yourselves!
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