Wednesday, March 17, 2004
Small-time economics
Hey, I am all for saving money. More money in your pocket is good for you. You can spend it on more N' Sync CDs. And, heaven knows, they need all the help they can get. Really, I feel for those guys. But I think we take it too far sometimes, as a society. One money-saving mechanism in particular usually comes at the exclusion of all reason. People will trample the elderly and scale sheer icy cliffs in pursuit of one specific bargain. And it need stop. I'm talking about the search for cheap gasoline.
I realize prices are skyrocketing. Furthermore, I realize that the prices are somewhat arbitrary. I don't know much about the supply of gasoline, but I don't think it fluctuates nearly as much as those crazy gasoline barons would have us believe. Still, we're talking about like 10 cents a gallon. I know I just made some of you gasp. Put down the hand grenade and listen. Let's say your car holds 15 gallons of gas. Let's say for some reason that you work in DC and commute from, I don't know, Kentucky. By car. You drive so much that you fill up your car twice a week. That's 30 gallons a week. A 10 cent difference is 3 dollars a week. That's 150 dollars a year. "Wow!" you say. "That's a lot of money! I can buy 10 N' Sync CDs for that much!" Yes, I suppose you're right. But, please, continue to listen...
150 dollars a year is not that much, especially given the lengths to which you freaks will go to pursue said petroleum. You'll drive to the other side of the street. You'll sometimes drive 2 miles out of your way. You'll point out a specific area of town (usually the areas with the friendly ladies hanging out on the corners) that is known to have cheaper gas. You'll make a mental note of it. Gray matter ain't cheap, you know. Some of you, I bet, even have little notebooks you use to chart the places with cheaper gas. Think about that combined effort. Is it worth 150 bucks?
It's especially crazy in comparison to other things you WON'T do to save money. Do you buy the generic brands in the supermarket? I bet you could save 1000 dollars over a year by doing that. Do you shop online instead of going to the store? More free money there. How about turning down the heat when you're not home? Or going to the library instead of buying books? Knitting your own pants? Cheating on your taxes? All perfectly valid ways of saving money. And much more lucrative and worthwhile.
So, please, folks, get a grip. You're just fueling the fire, so to speak. One might even say you're pouring gasoline on it. Ha ha ha. I should die for that.
I realize prices are skyrocketing. Furthermore, I realize that the prices are somewhat arbitrary. I don't know much about the supply of gasoline, but I don't think it fluctuates nearly as much as those crazy gasoline barons would have us believe. Still, we're talking about like 10 cents a gallon. I know I just made some of you gasp. Put down the hand grenade and listen. Let's say your car holds 15 gallons of gas. Let's say for some reason that you work in DC and commute from, I don't know, Kentucky. By car. You drive so much that you fill up your car twice a week. That's 30 gallons a week. A 10 cent difference is 3 dollars a week. That's 150 dollars a year. "Wow!" you say. "That's a lot of money! I can buy 10 N' Sync CDs for that much!" Yes, I suppose you're right. But, please, continue to listen...
150 dollars a year is not that much, especially given the lengths to which you freaks will go to pursue said petroleum. You'll drive to the other side of the street. You'll sometimes drive 2 miles out of your way. You'll point out a specific area of town (usually the areas with the friendly ladies hanging out on the corners) that is known to have cheaper gas. You'll make a mental note of it. Gray matter ain't cheap, you know. Some of you, I bet, even have little notebooks you use to chart the places with cheaper gas. Think about that combined effort. Is it worth 150 bucks?
It's especially crazy in comparison to other things you WON'T do to save money. Do you buy the generic brands in the supermarket? I bet you could save 1000 dollars over a year by doing that. Do you shop online instead of going to the store? More free money there. How about turning down the heat when you're not home? Or going to the library instead of buying books? Knitting your own pants? Cheating on your taxes? All perfectly valid ways of saving money. And much more lucrative and worthwhile.
So, please, folks, get a grip. You're just fueling the fire, so to speak. One might even say you're pouring gasoline on it. Ha ha ha. I should die for that.
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