Tuesday, July 06, 2004
Spoilers
If you haven't figured it out by now, I generally enjoy media. I love movies, watch a decent amount of TV, and buy a lot of music. Some people see these as silly endeavors, while others are reasonable human beings that enjoy life and all that it has to offer.
For the most part, what I really appreciate is good storytelling. Usually, a critical part of a good story, at least for me, is one that is not predictable. Now, this is not the be all, end all. Clearly, for some movies, like Apollo 13, everyone knows what is going to happen. (Well, almost everyone, but that's an amusing story for another time.) The story is so well told, though, that it's fun just watching it unfold. Regardless, for many stories, it's valuable not to know what's going to happen, so that the events occur for you just as they occur for the characters.
In movies, everything is usually self-contained. That doesn't stop a lot of reviewers for giving away the endings, or key plot points, though, does it? No, sirree. When you're a fine connoisseur of films, such as myself, you cannot just watch every movie, willy-nilly. Rather, you need to pick and choose your fare, as a gourmand would select fine wines from a list. "Lethal Weapon 4" or "American Pie 2" ? "Glitter" or "You Got Served" ? "Return to the Planet of the Apes" or "Beyond the Planet of the Apes" ? These are not decisions that one takes lightly, my friends. In most cases, reviews help one make informed decisions. But, from time to time, they just blurt out key plot points, ruining the whole damn thing. This makes me angry. Probably more than reason permits. Trailers are pretty bad about it too. I've never seen "A Beautiful Mind", but I figured out the whole damn thing from the trailer. I know, you're saying, "Well, Dave, you're just too damn smart for your own good." Heh, I know.
However, when a movie gets ruined, then fine, I don't have to see it. And, even if I chose to see it, it's just two hours I'm losing. But serial TV shows take things to a whole different level. And, if there is a detriment to TiVo (please don't tell my player I uttered those words), it's that sometimes it allows you to be lax in your TV watching. Yes, that does seem like a contradiction, but basically, by twisting the space-time continuum, and allowing you to watch TV shows whenever the hell you feel like it, TiVo can breed a sense of self-importance in people, convincing them that the network schedule actually revolves around their life. In the meantime, while you're watching 24 or the Sopranos, or Sesame Street, the News or whenever you want, the rest of the world has to conform, and watch the shows when they come on. Then, magazines, or even other people, completely ignore the TiVo-devotees, and assume they can just blather on about who was killed on 24, or who was killed on the Sopranos, or who was killed on Sesame Street, or who was elected President of the United States, as if I have the time to keep up with those things as they actually happen.
This blatant disregard for a small, but growing, portion of the population infuriates me. When I commit to a show, I have implicitly established a contract, committing an hour (or at least a TiVo-accelerated 44 minutes) per week to a story. Then, some uncultured moron decides to start a discussion on a show I haven't yet watched, and destroyed that contract as if it were nothing.
Therefore, I make this impassioned plea: No more talking about anything around me. No news, no sports, no television. I may not have seen it occur yet. Don't even ask if I've seen something yet - to my razor-sharp mind, that's already giving something away. Feel free to talk about your own life, though, unless you're on some sort of reality show that I may eventually see, or if your life story is so exciting that it might be eventually made into some biopic, then hold off on that too.
For the most part, what I really appreciate is good storytelling. Usually, a critical part of a good story, at least for me, is one that is not predictable. Now, this is not the be all, end all. Clearly, for some movies, like Apollo 13, everyone knows what is going to happen. (Well, almost everyone, but that's an amusing story for another time.) The story is so well told, though, that it's fun just watching it unfold. Regardless, for many stories, it's valuable not to know what's going to happen, so that the events occur for you just as they occur for the characters.
In movies, everything is usually self-contained. That doesn't stop a lot of reviewers for giving away the endings, or key plot points, though, does it? No, sirree. When you're a fine connoisseur of films, such as myself, you cannot just watch every movie, willy-nilly. Rather, you need to pick and choose your fare, as a gourmand would select fine wines from a list. "Lethal Weapon 4" or "American Pie 2" ? "Glitter" or "You Got Served" ? "Return to the Planet of the Apes" or "Beyond the Planet of the Apes" ? These are not decisions that one takes lightly, my friends. In most cases, reviews help one make informed decisions. But, from time to time, they just blurt out key plot points, ruining the whole damn thing. This makes me angry. Probably more than reason permits. Trailers are pretty bad about it too. I've never seen "A Beautiful Mind", but I figured out the whole damn thing from the trailer. I know, you're saying, "Well, Dave, you're just too damn smart for your own good." Heh, I know.
However, when a movie gets ruined, then fine, I don't have to see it. And, even if I chose to see it, it's just two hours I'm losing. But serial TV shows take things to a whole different level. And, if there is a detriment to TiVo (please don't tell my player I uttered those words), it's that sometimes it allows you to be lax in your TV watching. Yes, that does seem like a contradiction, but basically, by twisting the space-time continuum, and allowing you to watch TV shows whenever the hell you feel like it, TiVo can breed a sense of self-importance in people, convincing them that the network schedule actually revolves around their life. In the meantime, while you're watching 24 or the Sopranos, or Sesame Street, the News or whenever you want, the rest of the world has to conform, and watch the shows when they come on. Then, magazines, or even other people, completely ignore the TiVo-devotees, and assume they can just blather on about who was killed on 24, or who was killed on the Sopranos, or who was killed on Sesame Street, or who was elected President of the United States, as if I have the time to keep up with those things as they actually happen.
This blatant disregard for a small, but growing, portion of the population infuriates me. When I commit to a show, I have implicitly established a contract, committing an hour (or at least a TiVo-accelerated 44 minutes) per week to a story. Then, some uncultured moron decides to start a discussion on a show I haven't yet watched, and destroyed that contract as if it were nothing.
Therefore, I make this impassioned plea: No more talking about anything around me. No news, no sports, no television. I may not have seen it occur yet. Don't even ask if I've seen something yet - to my razor-sharp mind, that's already giving something away. Feel free to talk about your own life, though, unless you're on some sort of reality show that I may eventually see, or if your life story is so exciting that it might be eventually made into some biopic, then hold off on that too.
Comments:
I'm guessing someone gave something away to you. Sorry about that. By the way, have you seen Spider-Man 2 yet? Let me tell you how it ends...
Actually, no one gave anything away recently. Although I did have an absurd conversation with a co-worker who seemed intent on ruining 24 for me, even though I told him I hadn't seen the finale. At any rate, it's not a specific complaint - it's just pervasive, really. I assume Spiderman dies at the end of Spider-Man 2, right?
Since Spider-Man 3 and 4 are already in the works (did I give too much away?), of course he kicks the bucket at the end of 2. Bringing characters back from the dead is a comic book specialty.
Justin: I enjoyed this post; clearly, you're in your element when discussing your TiVo. The whole world has your problem when the Olympics are on, but I think you're just (subconsciously?) venting about the time-shifting of the Olympic-like 2004 World Series of Poker. :)
Post a Comment
# posted by 
: July 7, 2004 at 1:37 AM
: July 7, 2004 at 1:37 AM
