In The Big Inning...

I just spend another couple of days in South Carolina for work. I've visited there quite a few times as of late, and it never fails to surprise me what a sharp difference there is between the general culture of the south and the north. And, despite what some jokers say, Washington DC is not really the south. It's pretty easy to tell if you visit both places. My best guess is that the south really starts somewhere in Virginia, between Arlington and Richmond.

I'm not going to say that the stereotypes are true - I certainly really don't know. But I can see how one would get the impression that Southerners are slow, backwards people based solely on surface attributes. But what I don't quite understand is why things are this way? I mean, DC and SC are separated by just a few hundred miles. But the culture gap is vastly wider.

I can't quite explain it. Some of it may just be random - certain people colonized the south, and others colonized the north, and from there they went their separate ways. I'm also inclined to believe that a lot of it has to do with climate, in a couple of respects. One is that when it's hot, you just move slower. Another is that the climate of the south is more conducive to farming. In the north, they've had to resort to more big business. And that really brings me to the crux of the difference.

Honestly, the main personal differences seem to stem from economic resources. I do think that, on the whole, the quality of education in the south is less than that in the north. Part of that may be born of lack of necessity - if you're farming, a college education really isn't that useful. Certainly, even if more people lack typical "academic" intelligence, they're smart in their own right. But also, if you're poor, you might seek comfort in other things - being friendly, being religious, and just taking things slow. I'm not trying to make any value judgments here, just present my theories.

But, now, starting here, I will present some of my opinions. Obviously, I prefer the north. Some for superficial reasons, and some for genuine deep-seated beliefs. Of course, the main one is religion - you really can't go to far in the deep south without encounter some blatant display of Christianity, most likely proselytizing, maybe even warning you of the dangers of your sins. Without going into too much of a rant, I can't stand this type of thinking. For me, a sure way of not bettering yourself is to let yourself drown in dogma, deciding that your own thoughts and actions and values are not something that you do or should have true control over. I do not claim that all Christianity or dogma is like this (and note that I didn't even mention intolerance, which frequently can play a big part in it too), but it does seem to be more prevalent in the south.

On a superficial level, I just don't operate that slowly! (Except when walking or running.) I consider myself
relatively friendly, but southerners take it to a new level. I don't think it's fake, but I don't think it's completely genuine either. Part of it seems to be a desire to be seen as friendly, which is fine. But I don't think that southerners are necessarily kinder or more generous than northerners - they just outwardly appear that way. Because honestly, is saying "Hi, how are you?" to someone you've never met and will never see again a real litmus test of friendliness? To me, it's nice, and it may brighten someone's day, but it just doesn't do that much for me. I like talking to people I know and care about, and I enjoy getting to know new people. But, sometimes, and I know I'm going to sound like a jerk, I just get annoyed by feeling like I have to be friendly back to someone I'm never going to see again. Maybe I'm lost in my own thoughts, or maybe I'm just feeling quiet, but it can be grating. And I feel kinda guilty for being annoyed when someone's just trying to be friendly, but that's the point - they're TRYING to be friendly. Maybe it's natural, and maybe it's not, but regardless, they don't know me, and they don't honestly care how I'm doing. I'm sure they wish me well, as much as we all want as many people as possible to be happy, but my affection for complete strangers is pretty limited.

My experience at the Columbia, SC airport on the way back home was quite indicative of the whole southern friendliness phenomenon. The security checkpoint was as uncrowded as I've ever seen one, and I got singled out (by the random little *S* on the boarding pass) (And while I'm digressing, shouldn't there be something more subtle that that? If I know that I'm going to get searched, and I do have contraband, I'm going to be a lot less likely to go through with whatever nefarious plan I might have.) (Oh yeah, I might also mention that the check-in lady [who pushed the buttons on the auto-check-in machine for me, just for a little extra friendliness] told me after I got my boarding pass that I had been singled out for extra searching, and informed me that I could give my bags to my companion traveler in order to make the searching process go quicker, as he did not have the *S*. Umm...thanks. Doesn't that really defeat the whole point? That's taking friendliness a bit too far.) (How was that for a crazy-ass set of parentheticals? Now where was I?) for additional searching. At the time, I was waited on by, I believe, about six different people. Since they had nothing else to do, they all gave me extra attention. Initially, it was nice - they carried my bags for me, and were very polite. About the fourth time that they had said, "Hello, sir. How are you doing today?", and I replied, "Fine, how are you?", it got old. I just wanted to be done and get to my plane. Furthermore, when you're dealing with people who have been sitting around at the security checkpoint just waiting to encounter someone new, since NO ONE is in the airport, they take the "Fine, how are you?" as an invitation to start a six-second-long, superficial conversation. It reached the extremes of banality when I was waiting for the dude to pat me down, and he was putting on his gloves. He was struggling a bit, and informed me how much easier it was when they used to come with powder on them, but now they don't, so they're kind of tight. I just had to nod pleasantly, as this man had the power to throw me in Gitmo, I presume.

Some of the more serious aspects of the south, and in particular, Sumter, South Carolina, were really depressing. The place is dirt poor. The school is like a junkyard. Trailer parks abound. There's really nothing to do there. It's just sad. I guess I wonder about cause and effect - is there any? Does it being poor have anything to do with the southern, slow, friendly attitude? Does it being southern and slow and friendly have anything to do with it being poor? Or am I off my rocker, just an unfriendly, fast-paced, business-like Yankee, judging all that's before me because I have no fear of God, because I have no respect for a culture I don't fully understand?