Thursday, September 02, 2004
Joking
If I could have any skill in the world, well, the following one probably wouldn't be at the top of the list, but it sure would be nice: I wish I had a greater aptitude for remembering and telling jokes. I enjoy good humor (I guess that's quite redundant - one might define good humor as necessarily being enjoyable), but I seem to have no ability to remember jokes that I enjoy. Fortunately, most of my friends don't have that ability either, so if we ever get in a joke-telling mood (which is quite rare), usually I'll tell a joke I remember from when I was 13, and then my friend will tell one, and then we'll sit around thinking...
"Er...yeah, there's one about the blonde on the airplane with Al Gore...remember that one?"
"Yeah, I kinda remember it. It's funny. Hey, how about the one with the gorilla and the team of monkey truck drivers?"
"Oh yeah, that's a good one....Do you know the one whose punchline is something like 'Well, Thursday night's your turn in the barrel!' ?"
"No, no, I don't. How does it go?"
"I forget."
Pretty weak. On these admittedly rare occasions, it would be nice to just have a database of jokes that I could pull from, entertaining friends and relatives at well. As it is, I have to resort to dancing poorly to gain pity laughs.
I'm off to Chicago for my cousin's Bat Mitzvah. I'll be sure to tell you the punchlines of any jokes I hear. However, in the meantime, feel free to post your favorite jokes...from memory. Here's one of mine...not my favorite, just the only one I can remember:
A man is standing on a corner, when a little old Jewish lady walks up to him. She sees him, and then enters into a rage, taking her umbrella and repeatedly smashing him over the head with it, shouting, "Herman, you vermin! Herman, you vermin!"
The man is clearly shocked, and more taking aback than hurt, as the lady is quite elderly. When he finally regains his composure, he shields himself, and shouts, "Lady, my name's not Herman!"
She stops hitting him, and then looks at him with disgust, saying, "Vhat, so you think you're poifect?"
"Er...yeah, there's one about the blonde on the airplane with Al Gore...remember that one?"
"Yeah, I kinda remember it. It's funny. Hey, how about the one with the gorilla and the team of monkey truck drivers?"
"Oh yeah, that's a good one....Do you know the one whose punchline is something like 'Well, Thursday night's your turn in the barrel!' ?"
"No, no, I don't. How does it go?"
"I forget."
Pretty weak. On these admittedly rare occasions, it would be nice to just have a database of jokes that I could pull from, entertaining friends and relatives at well. As it is, I have to resort to dancing poorly to gain pity laughs.
I'm off to Chicago for my cousin's Bat Mitzvah. I'll be sure to tell you the punchlines of any jokes I hear. However, in the meantime, feel free to post your favorite jokes...from memory. Here's one of mine...not my favorite, just the only one I can remember:
A man is standing on a corner, when a little old Jewish lady walks up to him. She sees him, and then enters into a rage, taking her umbrella and repeatedly smashing him over the head with it, shouting, "Herman, you vermin! Herman, you vermin!"
The man is clearly shocked, and more taking aback than hurt, as the lady is quite elderly. When he finally regains his composure, he shields himself, and shouts, "Lady, my name's not Herman!"
She stops hitting him, and then looks at him with disgust, saying, "Vhat, so you think you're poifect?"
Comments:
Ok, so my mom just told me this one it is "innappropriate":
The seven dwarfs (dwarves?) had an audience with the pope.
Dopey approaches and says to the pope, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the Vatican?"
The pope says, "No," and the six other dwarfs twitter.
Dopey asks, "Are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"
Again, the pope says no and the other dwarfs giggle.
Dopey asks if there are dwarf nuns in Italy Europe or the Eastern Hemisphere in succession, each time with the same answer, "No," and each time the dwarfs laughed louder.
Finally, Dopey asks the pope if there are any dwarf nuns in the entire world and the pope said no.
The rest of the dwarfs laugh and start chanting, "Dopey fucked a penguin, Dopey fucked a penguin!"
laurel
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The seven dwarfs (dwarves?) had an audience with the pope.
Dopey approaches and says to the pope, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the Vatican?"
The pope says, "No," and the six other dwarfs twitter.
Dopey asks, "Are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"
Again, the pope says no and the other dwarfs giggle.
Dopey asks if there are dwarf nuns in Italy Europe or the Eastern Hemisphere in succession, each time with the same answer, "No," and each time the dwarfs laughed louder.
Finally, Dopey asks the pope if there are any dwarf nuns in the entire world and the pope said no.
The rest of the dwarfs laugh and start chanting, "Dopey fucked a penguin, Dopey fucked a penguin!"
laurel
# posted by 
: September 12, 2004 at 10:03 PM
: September 12, 2004 at 10:03 PM
