In The Big Inning...

So, a little more than a year ago, Samantha and I started living together. As such, we started sleeping in the same bed on a regular basis. And in doing so, we somehow picked our own sides of the bed to use. This past weekend, Sam and I went to Key West, and stayed in a hotel. Without any forethought, we naturally chose the same side of the bed as we have at home. Already, in a year, it's become instinct for us, which is actually kind of surprising. However, this isn't really all that strange - I mean, my clock radio is on my side of the bed at home, and hers in on her side, so why wouldn't we stay on our sides? And, even though the bed at a hotel isn't the same bed, and there's no real difference between bed sides, I can believe that the behavior has just become ingrained. However, I have to wonder if it goes beyond that.

I believe that I still retain some of my caveman instincts. For instance, I really prefer to have my sleeves rolled up, so that my hairy forearms are bared at all times. Why? I guess to serve as a sign of my manliness to anyone who might challenge me to a duel, beat me over the head, and steal my woman. And another strange instinct - I will naturally choose a seat in a public place that offers the greatest view of the rest of the establishment. It's not an overriding desire, but a subtle one that I don't quite completely understand. It must be so that I can size up any potential threats as they enter the room. Clearly, I live very dangerously.

Ok, so if those behaviors, which are quite obviously no longer necessary to enhance my safety, have somehow been perpetuated naturally, then maybe others have those behaviors as well. And if that's the case, then maybe Sam and my bed-side-choosing isn't simply because of the sides we randomly chose at home, but maybe there's some deep-seated reason. Maybe it has to do with the poles. Maybe it has to do with most men being right-handed, and being able to keep a weapon on the right side of the bed. I have no idea, honestly.

The first step is to conduct a scientific study. I'll start with myself - if you're lying on my bed, facing the ceiling - get the hell off of my bed! But if I'm lying on my bed, facing the ceiling, then I am on the right side, and Sam is on the left. (Assuming my head is on the pillow.) I also know that my father sleeps on the right side. And that's about it. When Sam and I lived in separate places, and I would sleep over at her place, I would sometimes sleep on the left, because her bedstand was on the right side...and it never quite felt right.

So, what about the rest of you? What bed-sided are you? Maybe there's something greater here. Maybe we'll cure prostate cancer. I'll start the Nobel application now.